After A While...

Light Up The Sky

This is an amazing and powerful song and video. The Afters CDs have long been music played in our home.

But this one song really captured my heart...




Last year when our life came crashing down and we filed bankruptcy because DH could no longer work due to his injury to his back and later the failed spinal fusion and we lost everything we owned--our home, RV, vehicles, respect of others, etc... it was a hard time for us.  We had presumed on the future--gambled on the ability to always go on as we were doing.  But we could feel the Lord's hand in it all. Such a dark time but through it all we were right where He wanted us.

On one of our trips to go load up stuff to move to the new place we were driving back to our old homestead and this song came on. It was a very low time for me. I had been taking pictures of a beautiful sky after a storm. Amazing scenery. And this song came on the radio and I knew that the Lord was speaking directly to my heart...

No fireworks but this was so beautiful and fitting.

You can read the blog post that I shared this picture originally here.

Light up the Sky
The Afters

When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close?

Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Your love is rushing in

Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me

So I run straight into Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do

Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me

That You are with me
That You are with me

Random Insights

At a family gathering in late June I had an interesting conversation with a couple of teens (a boy and a girl) I had never met before (that were somehow connected to my StepDad--I have such a bad memory when it comes to meeting new people!).  Nice kids actually. 

We talked a lot about stuff that is probably on many youngster's minds these days--and not just youngster's but on oldster's (like me) too...  The "end of the world". 

No one can hardly deny that things are just a little off.  So much bad stuff going on.  Drought.  Flooding.  Weird, unheard of weather.  Financial turmoil.  "Zombie" attacks.  Riots.  War.  Massacres.  Parents murdering their children and then killing themselves.  It's like the whole world has gone wonko!  What a scary time this must be for a teen.  Such confusion and uncertainty.  What a mess they are going to inherit should the Lord continue to tarry.

We discussed many of these issues and, coming from a non-Christian environment, I could see a lot of blunt hopelessness in their words.  We talked about some "what if" scenarios such as having only a day or two to live.  They said that they might kill someone just to see what it was like (yeah, that doesn't sound very nice but I kinda doubt that would actually come to pass.  It was more like they were just thinking out loud.  I'm a hopeless optimistic if you must know.).  In fact they mentioned killing someone more than once--perhaps an effect of TV and video games on our youth (duh, right?).  At one point the boy said that he didn't know what they were going to do if the world didn't end on Dec. 21st.  (Hollywood.  Gotta love it.)  It was almost like it would be a relief if the world DID end.  An insight into the minds of typical teenagers, if nothing else.  Perhaps if these feelings are typical it may be some of what is causing the world's wonko-ness (what a word!) we've been seeing lately.  Fear and chaos breeds more fear and chaos.

I didn't get to share any of my faith that day.

On occasion people have asked me how I could believe in God when so many bad things have happened to me--and are going on in the world.  I just reply that because life is so hard I can't imagine going through life on my own, without God.

Come what may, in every circumstance, He is with me.  That is my comfort.

Moonrise at sunset

This year August has two full moons.

The second full moon at the end of the month

is a "Blue Moon".  :-)

Beautiful.

Looking Up

After some very springlike weather we are back to the drab and cold of winter.  After all, it IS February, right?  Still seeing flocks of geese flying north...

There were, amazingly, many more geese that I couldn't fit into the picture.

(I was aiming for the geese and the moon)

We must be right along a migratory route.

I'm loving it!!

That same night, after it was dark, another flock flew over our house.

I was outside for some reason or another.

The moon was so bright

and they just shimmered in the moonlight,

honking happily away.

A unique experience for sure.

The kids say that I am getting obsessed with taking pictures of the sky for the Project Sky :: 365 group on flickr.  I'm always looking up anyway and I'm working on trying to remember to take my camera out with me whenever I go outside.  It never fails that when I forget it I miss a fabulous shot!!  :-)

So much beauty just right over our heads!  Look up and enjoy!!

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,

which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,

like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens

and makes its circuit to the other;

nothing is hidden from its heat.

Psalm 19:1-6

Happiness or Joy

Ok, just call me a hippie but I really love this quote!!

But honestly "happiness" means different things to different people. I guess you could say that happiness is relevant. I think that the word "joy" is the emotion that I strive for most. It is more like a state of being actually than an emotion or feeling. We can feel joy even in the hardest trials if we choose. But it sure is hard to be happy when it feels like life is raining on your parade. Joy is found deep inside and it is a choice. It should be the life theme of a Christian--to be a light to a world living in darkness and pain. Instead of asking "why me?" when things go wrong, I say, "why NOT me?" What makes ME so special that bad things shouldn't happen to me? :-) Accept the hardship and feel the joy in the midst of it. It's simply a matter of perspective.  If we lack joy we can always pray for it!!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

But I still really love the John Lennon quote too!! :-)

Blooming In Adversity

I saw this courageous fellow peeking out of the snow this morning.  I've always admired the tenacity of dandelions but I admit that I was pretty impressed with this guy.  I mean he couldn't help it if just a week and a half ago it was in the 60's (one day it got up to 70) and he thought it a fine time to bloom.  And now it's snowed and dipped down into the lower teens at night these past few nights with blustery northern winds.  But what choice does he have?  And such is life. 

When life throws us a little nasty weather we can choose to poke our heads above it all and be a little cheerful color in a drab, wintery world--to be a reminder that winter will pass and spring will come again.

As long as the earth exists seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.  (Genesis 8:22)

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

My Bible for 2012

Each year I try to read from a different (version) bible for a new perspective.  I'm amazed at the many choices that we have nowadays!  ;-)

This year my dad and step-mom sent us The Expositior's Study Bible (KJV) Crossfire Edition for Christmas.  It's from Jimmy Swaggart Ministries and is actually a teen/young adult bible.

I'm enjoying the commentary as it's directly after the scripture addressed.  Bible and Commentary in one.  It makes for good retention and better understanding all the way around.  Granted, I don't agree with everything the commentary presents but overall it's very informative.  The older kids are impressed with it as well.

As a rule I try to read 3-5 chapters each day.  Our local radio station JoyFM has a nifty little chart that any box checker should love!!  You can find it here.  Print it up if you like and chart your progress.  Or just wing it and read as much as you are able on a daily (or nearly so) basis.  I confess that I've never made it all the way through in one year but I continue to strive for that goal.  :-)

How to Handle Adversity

I just finished reading Charles Stanley"s "How to Handle Adversity.  Excellent book!! 

Mind you I am typing this with a very sore finger with a big bandaid on it.  I was using my vegetable slicer similar to this one...

Only with my naivety (read: stupidity!!) and experience using it, I wasn't using the thingie that goes on top to protect your fingers.  You know where this is going right?  Do you know what a 1/8 inch deep cut that's a little longer than 1/4 inch long at the tip of you index finger on the hand you use most feels like???  Not pleasant!!  I'm sure I could have went in and got stitches but, resourceful woman that I am (who really dislikes going to the dr!!), I just mixed up some Tien Chi powder and water to make a paste, globbed it on and wrapped it with a bandaid.  I love that stuff!!  You should check it out!!

Anyway, all that to say that I am no stranger to adversity!!  :-)

This book is an excellent resource in learning some of the reasons for adversity, where adversity comes from and what our attitude should be while we're walking through it. 

Many people assume wrongly that adversity is a punishment for sin (think of Job and of Jesus healing the man born blind in John 9).  I find that it's very ironic how when things are going well and blessings are falling from heaven like rain from a stormcloud people generally don't walk around proclaiming how righteous a person you must be that the Lord would bless you so abundantly!!  But as soon as things go south whispers abound in curiosity (or in downright accusations!) of what sins you must have committed to be treated so poorly by the Lord.  In a way there is blessing because you discover who really loves you and is committed to stick with you through the hard times rather than those going along for the ride during the good times--those fair weather friends, if you will.

Adversity has many benefits.  It gives you compassion for others in similar circumstances.  And while adversity is not pleasant while you are going through it, many times there is that peace that passes understanding the Lord grants to those who walk through hard times with a humble heart and a longing to do His will--even if it hurts.  Also I have felt the closest to the Lord in the midst of adversity than when blessings are being poured out.  "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)

So even if you are not in the middle of adversity, this is a great read and will help you understand much more about adversity than most people know and you can be a blessing to those who are going through tough times.  The Lord calls us to love and support those in need.

Love Defined...

And now I will show you the most excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is Patient

Able to accept bad luck, pain, delays, or disappointments calmly.

Love is Kind

Being of good nature; good-hearted; considerate.

It does not Envy

A feeling of unhappiness or dislike caused by wanting what someone else has or gets; jealousy.

It does not Boast

To speak with too much pride about oneself or what one does, knows, or owns.

It is not Proud

Having too high opinion of oneself; arrogant.

It is not Rude

Showing poor manners; not polite.

It is not Self-Seeking

Interested only in gaining an advantage over others, not in sharing or cooperating.

It is not easily Angered

A strong feeling of being mad at someone or something.

It keeps no record of Wrongs

Behavior that is morally or socially unacceptable.

Love does not delight in Evil

Bad behavior; sinfulness; wickedness.

But rejoices with the Truth

A thing that is true.

It always Protects

To keep safe from danger or harm; guard; defend.

Always Trusts

Belief or faith in someone or something.

Always Hopes

A feeling that something one wishes for will happen.

Always Perseveres

To persist steadily in an action or belief, usually over a long period and especially despite problems or difficulties.

Love never Fails

To be unsuccessful in trying to do something.

Daughter #1 wrote this up to print and frame as a gift for a family member--but I want one for our home as well!!  I love the way the definitions bring each attribute to life.  Who else needs to have it spelled out so clearly besides me?  Ha Ha!!

Slave or Free?

With lots of talk about our tanking economy and with all that we’ve experienced in our own lives these past few years--and with reading about slavery in small bits here and there, I’ve been wondering how “free” the people of our society really are.

Good masters treated their slaves with kindness and provided homes, food, clothing and the other necessities of life for them. Ideally, slaves worked for their master diligently and they were rewarded with having their needs met. And so today we work at a job to pay for a place to call home, food to fill our bellies, clothes for our bodies and the other little necessities of life. We can choose our own vocation, abode, cuisine, and creature comforts but generally we have a boss (master)--if you are self-employed you have customers--that tell you what is expected of you in return for a paycheck. If you owe money on your home, have a car loan or credit cards you are bound to the work force in order to keep these items. So how is this not a form of self induced slavery? How “free” are we really?

What is “freedom”? Merriam-Webster defines freedom as: a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : independence

As Christians and servants of The Most High we are called to a beautiful form of bond-slavery. We submit ourselves willingly to do the will of the Lord. But many times we put ourselves in a position, when we acquire debt, that makes it difficult to follow His leading. It’s not that the Lord doesn’t want us to have possessions, but rather that we should not be bound to them due to debt.

How is this even done in our day? With much self-denial and wisdom, I suppose. When you’re not “keeping up with the Joneses” or “needing” to have the latest, most expensive whatever, it’s a much easier task. Bottom line: Debt is bondage!!

One of my goals for 2011 is to live much more simply/frugally than in past years and to become much more self-sufficient. Not having the ability to truly be free to live life--to be bound to “forced labor” certainly isn’t where we intended for our family to end up (as are the feelings of the average US citizen, I‘m sure). So in learning these hard lessons, I don’t think that it is an unreasonable goal to work to be out of debt in 10-12 years. I haven’t put it all down on paper or come to any concrete conclusions yet--still mulling it all over in my head.

I pray that 2011 will be more prosperous for our family that we may ease a little closer to true freedom!

Forgiveness...

I'm a member of an e-mail group called Healing the Earth_Healing Ourselves which isn't (warning!) a Christian group--not like you might expect me to post about--but many of their ideas (herbal, food, natural living, etc...) appeal to me and I enjoy reading the posts.  The following was written by a member named Grandfather Peter and really speaks to my heart for this new year.  As a perfectionist, who is really hard on myself (not so much on others), this is a theme of my life for myself at this point--having made a "few" ;-) bad decisions in the past. 

Grandfather Peter graciously gave me permission to reprint his thoughtful post on my blog and I hope that it will minister to others as much as it has myself...

GRANDFATHERS PRAYER FOR TODAY.

  

A wise grandmother once told me to forgive the users and takers in the world for they have taught you a lesson not to be used or taken. But she also said "Without compassion forgiveness does not work. Today may I start by forgiving myself?

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Forgiveness.

At this time around the time around the Winter Solstice, Christmas and the New Year there is a natural resonance that is resplendent with the song of Forgiveness. It is a quality of Spirit easily accessed, embodied, activated and experienced. Forgiveness is the key in which the song of life is sung at the Winter Solstice, just as Appreciation is at the time of the Summer Solstice.

Forgiveness is, however, not something we do. It is not something we offer to another (nor our own Self). Forgiveness is a state of being, a frequency at which our Soul resonates when Forgiveness sings its song. When we are in the state of Forgiveness we may hold attention upon the presence of another (or our own Self), embracing that person in Forgiveness.

When we are in the state of Forgiveness all that we place our attention upon, in a sincere attitude of acknowledgment and responsibility, dissolves in the burst of Love that comes forth from the relinquishment of our guilt, anger, pain, resentment, grudge or debt. From the release of guilt arises the possibility of apology and atonement. When we release resentment the poison it spreads through our entire interaction with the world is drained, leaving the way for understanding to grow. As we forgive the debts owed us, but never paid - be they financial, emotional or obligations - we are able to let go of betrayal and the fear that unless we are paid in full we will suffer hardship, when, in actuality, if someone has owed you (money or whatever) for over a year, and you are still alive and able to make it through another day/week/month, then really, you no longer truly require the indebted asset to survive. You have, somehow, made it. By relinquishing the grudge of debt you not only free the other party from their suffering, but your own suffering is released as well. After all, if that person could have paid you, if they were capable of it, they would have done so. If they are not capable (and I include the capability of conscience in that), they will never pay you anyway... so let it go! At that point, holding a grudge of debt only promotes you as being 'right', and with it, poisoned with mistrust, resentment, anger and pain. And this helps you how?

For Forgiveness to be active in our life does not require that we announce to the persons we hold in Forgiveness that we have done so (though, sometimes, it is appropriate that we do so). Forgiveness does not require that the other person has asked us to forgive them. It is not relevant as to whether the other person forgives us as well. The burden of judgment and resentment that is strung about the neck of us each is of our own concern and choosing. The guilt and judgment we carry we carry in our own heart. Forgiveness allows us the means of releasing this poison when we are sincere in our acknowledgment of culpability and responsibility. Forgiveness does not make 'OK' a wrong, nor is Forgiveness itself the act of atonement that may be required to reinstate balance. It does not let us 'off the hook'. Forgiveness enables us to no longer be crippled with shame and anger, so that we can embark afresh upon a new course in life, a course charted into the vast ocean of Compassion and a greater availability to the

All-That-Is that we call Life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hsotha Petre

Grandfather Peter

http://grandfatherpeter.multiply.com/

Perfect Peace

I have a confession to make.  After 22+ years of living a Christian life I realize that I've gotten a little bit lost--lost my focus, if you will.  Like Peter I've focused on the winds and the waves of life and not on the miraculous power of Jesus Christ.

The very first scripture I memorized as a new Christian was Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee".  I've needed that scripture more times in my life than I want to think about.  But it is so true.  When we are focused on the Lord, knowing that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28), we can know that perfect peace.  We know that, whatever the circumstance, it is sent to us filtered through His loving hands for our good.  He will not leave or forsake us when we need Him most.

Many of our trials have come by our own hand.  If you place your hand in fire, you're likely to get burned.  Many come from our convictions--especially friction in relationships.  We've chosen to walk a path less traveled and have had many "concerned" family and friends take us to task for our beliefs...

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.  If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you." 1 Peter 4:12-14

In the exhilarating days of being a new Christian and receiving word from the Lord in how we were to live our lives we encountered much opposition and I loved Isaiah 540:17

 No weapon forged against you will prevail,
    and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
  This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
    and this is their vindication from me,"
      declares the LORD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I have this print at home.  You cannot see him very well in this small picture but there is a man standing in the doorway of this lighthouse.  This picture represents my life in many ways--violent waves rage all around me and yet I am safe in the shelter of this "lighthouse"--My Lord.

So I am picking myself up out of the dirt and mire of doubt and unbelief and determining to live in faith that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13) once again.  Lately I've been called to endure many hard things--and I lost my "focus".  But the Lord is so very patient with me.  I may give up--but He never gives up on me!!

This Too Shall Pass

Last night I couldn't sleep. The weight of the world was just pressing in on me. This has been one of the hardest years of my life with so much not good stuff going on in our lives--DH being down with his back pain and then his surgery, trying to cope with bipolar and depression issues in DH and Daughter #1, serious financial distress (the worst of our married lives) and instability of our business, major family blow-ups, getting older, discovering I am diabetic, and then the daily small stuff that all adds up. So little that I have any control over. I can just ride the wave--and hope I don't crash.

For me, this year has been harder than the one when we started our business, lost our home in a flood, lost the baby daughter I was pregnant with due to a birth defect, and our 2nd daughter was diagnosed with a heart defect (hereditary) that would need corrective surgery. All in one year--1993. Our church gave us the "Job of the Year" award.

I'm normally an upbeat person (a choice, not a feeling) and in the past 6 months have really tried to live positively since stress, worry and confrontation really destroy my health and peace of mind. So it's essential for me to practice joy and happiness. Sometimes it's really hard. But for the most part I can muster it up--even when I'm really just wanting to crawl into a hole and hide from the world. I know that God is faithful and even when it doesn't look like it, I know that He is working out everything for our good. My family needs me to be stable and for that I need strength from the Lord like I've never needed it before. I really take comfort in what Mark Lowry says...

A Six Year Old's Random Question About Heaven

So there we were the other night, snuggled up under the covers and on our way to sleep when I could see the wheels in Son #6's head start to turn (we are still co-sleeping).  He asked me, "Mommy, will we have new bodies when we go to Heaven?"  I told him that yeah, we would since these bodies are our earthly bodies and when we get to Heaven we'll get new ones that won't ever get sick or die.  He sighed and said, "Well I hope we don't."  I asked him why he felt that way.  He reached over and took my face in both of his hands and said, "I don't want you to have a new body.  I love this face.  It's so precious."  Giggle.  How's that for adoration!!!???

Rambling Thoughts

Have you ever noticed that

when life is at it's darkest

emotionally or physically

the birds still sing?

Flowers bloom?

The sun shines?

When our world crashes

we are shown how

insignificant

we really are.

Our Newest Heavenbound Family Member...

Friday was an exciting day for our family. Son #5 prayed a prayer for salvation with me in our laundry room. I had told the little boys to clean their room (that's up there with having your fingernails ripped off around our house!!) and they were giving me a hard time over it--not outwardly but like stopping to play with something and then saying "Oh, I forgot" when I'd find them NOT doing what they were supposed to do. Anyway, after a bit Son #5 came in while I was folding clothes and told me that there was a voice in his head telling him not to do his work and that he didn't care if he got in trouble. I asked him if he knew who that voice was--Satan trying to keep him from not obeying his mom. We talked about Adam and Eve and how wily Satan is. I told him about sin and how God made a way for us to have help to do what we're supposed to do and that Jesus died for our sins and if we believe this and pray for our sins to be forgiven the Holy Spirit should come live in hearts so that we can live a life where we win over the voice in our head telling us to sin. Yeah, it sounds a little jumbled up but He was happy to hear this good news (which he has heard before and wasn't really interested) and let me help him pray.


















My laundry room is more than a room where clothes are cleaned. It is my prayer closet and sanctuary. It is a place where I can go and as I fold clothes, pray for my family and of things that are on my heart. I am so thankful to be at home with my kiddos when things like this pop up!! Thank you Lord!!