It has been over a year and one month since Aunty Flo has come to call at my doorstep. My mother has always told me that menopause starts early in our family. In my mid thirties I was able to stave it off by using supplements and progesterone cream but here at 45 (with diabetes) I cannot ignore the obvious any longer. My heart longs for more babies still yet but that longing is dying down a little more and a little more as time passes by. It is like watching Indian Summer fade away with the knowledge that Fall is here to stay.
Part of me is sad to see my youth fly away. Another part of me is emerging. It is strong and wise and I feel a sense of power that I've never felt before. As I walk on the same ground that I walked in my youth--when my first children were just babies--I see so much more now than my eyes were capable of seeing at that age. There is freedom. I am amazed at who I am today compared to who I was then. And I giggle to think of how smart I thought I was!!
I have a deeper respect for the women who have gone before me. I feel a connection that was never there before. I feel a welcoming. This getting older thing isn't all bad. Beauty is fading but the calm and the strength is so very pleasing.
I am woman!! I am emerging Crone!!