Thursday, August 4, 2011

At a Crossroads

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my little blog space here.  I've been trying to decide whether to keep plugging through this dark spot in our lives, trying to be real (I say "trying" simply because sometimes--many times--things are so bleak to me that I can't even bring myself to share the truth of it.  Often I don't post, not because I am too busy, but simply because I don't have anything uplifting to say.  And you know what they say, "If you don't have anything nice to say"...) or to just simply shut things down. 

I am a regular reader over at Lynnette Kraft's blog  and have read her list of thoughts in why we should/shouldn't continue to blog.  I confess that I don't feel like I have enough to offer at this point to justify anyone's precious time.  Will anyone be edified by reading about how our family has lost everything that we spent years working for?  Can I benefit mankind by sharing our struggles as we are humbled to the point that we have joined the down-and-out masses in the food pantry lines or that marital bliss doesn't easily coexist with money that is nowhere to be found and the needs are still everpresent?  And it's not that we're all about money and worldly possessions. It's just that in this society--with a family our size, it's pretty necessary. A roof over our heads, a vehicle to drive, food to eat, utilities to pay, clothes to buy/make, school books/supplies, herbs and vitamins, etc... These things are pretty important.  These are issues that we are dealing with but I find it difficult to share.  It's just not "uplifting" and "edifying" and we feel so defeated at this point.

And yet I hope in the future.  In a God who says that He will never leave us or forsake us.  I do pray that the "light at the end of the tunnel" isn't the express train about to devastate what's left of our shattered lives.
I have faith that our Heavenly Father is with us, holding us up with His mighty right hand.  Though this has been some of the hardest times of our lives I will continue to trust in Him.  I am curious to see how He will work all of this our for our good.  We know that we are not to worry about the future and to seek Him for our daily needs.

There have been several blogs that I have followed in the past of women/families who have been going through devastating circumstances in their lives and they have quit blogging altogether (or perhaps just gave up on that particular blog and started a new one. I don't know.). I've wondered about them and prayed for them wishing that I could be privy to their lives longer to find out how things worked out--if they worked out. I know that sometimes things don't turn out like we plan. Life is hard. 

I will be in prayer for the future of this blog.  I long to share about the peace and beauty of our lives--a victorious life. But right now we are still in the "wrestling" stage and things are far from beautiful though He gives me peace to continue to trust in Him--the One who knows where this crazy thing we call life is headed.

This post is not an attempt to win devotion or get comments.  A hug would be nice.  ;-)  I just wanted to share my thoughts.  (I always appreciate prayer on behalf of our family if the Lord so leads.)


Kerrie Laws said...

Aw I wish I could just give you a hug and make it all better. But you know I can't, but I cry for you you and pray for you, all the while knowing and understanding what you are going through. I've been down every road you are going down. It's a tough, lonly and humilating road. But what everyone needs to realize is that this road as Richard and I say "builds character" lol and the best one is "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that stuff. But it's rough, I'm one person's choice to being homeless myself. Soooo don't give up your blog if it's something you enjoying doing-just pretend your a pioneer woman-that one's helped me from time to time!!!!!
Tell everyone I love them and am praying for you all!!!!
Your sister,

Kerrie Laws said...
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Kerrie Laws said...
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GrammyK said...

Why thank you Sister Dear, for your sweet words of encouragement!! I know that you understand very well what we are going through. :-( I wish that you didn't!! And yes, I do think of the Pioneer Woman analogy often. Or of the Survival Scenario. Life is definitely interesting!! So thanks for your love and prayers. They are so appreciated!! And hopefully we can get together soon and catch up!!

I went ahead and deleted the extra comments--but I may have well just left them cause now I have these "comment deleted" lines!! :-) If it's not one thing it's another!!

Lots of love to you guys!!

Anonymous said...

Know that you are loved and your path thru life can and does impact others when you are willing to share your journey.

GrammyK said...

Thank you Dear Friend!!! Thanks for your encouragement and friendship!!! You are a treasure to me!!! :-)