This Too Shall Pass

Last night I couldn't sleep. The weight of the world was just pressing in on me. This has been one of the hardest years of my life with so much not good stuff going on in our lives--DH being down with his back pain and then his surgery, trying to cope with bipolar and depression issues in DH and Daughter #1, serious financial distress (the worst of our married lives) and instability of our business, major family blow-ups, getting older, discovering I am diabetic, and then the daily small stuff that all adds up. So little that I have any control over. I can just ride the wave--and hope I don't crash.

For me, this year has been harder than the one when we started our business, lost our home in a flood, lost the baby daughter I was pregnant with due to a birth defect, and our 2nd daughter was diagnosed with a heart defect (hereditary) that would need corrective surgery. All in one year--1993. Our church gave us the "Job of the Year" award.

I'm normally an upbeat person (a choice, not a feeling) and in the past 6 months have really tried to live positively since stress, worry and confrontation really destroy my health and peace of mind. So it's essential for me to practice joy and happiness. Sometimes it's really hard. But for the most part I can muster it up--even when I'm really just wanting to crawl into a hole and hide from the world. I know that God is faithful and even when it doesn't look like it, I know that He is working out everything for our good. My family needs me to be stable and for that I need strength from the Lord like I've never needed it before. I really take comfort in what Mark Lowry says...